Many relatives of those missing in natural disasters or conflicts are experiencing a unique form of grief known as “ambiguous loss.” This is a prolonged state of sorrow due to the absence of a loved one whose fate remains uncertain, leaving families in a state of helplessness, unable to proceed with normal mourning rituals.
Rachel Ganz shares her feelings of helplessness after her husband went missing following severe flooding in Missouri in April. More than three months later, she still doesn’t know if her husband is alive or dead, a situation experts call “frozen in grief.” She says she “envies people who have death certificates” because at least they have an ending.
Professor Pauline Boss, who has studied this type of loss since the 1970s, explains that the defining characteristic of ambiguous loss is the absence of rituals like funerals and burials, which are crucial elements in helping families accept loss. This situation can occur in various contexts, from personal disappearances to global events like the September 11 attacks, tsunamis, or armed conflicts.
Psychological experts believe the only way to overcome this state is to learn to live with uncertainty, a concept that is difficult to accept in Western culture. Sarah Wayland, a sociology professor, notes that ambiguous loss can be exacerbated by the 24/7 news cycle and social media, followed by an eerie silence when public attention shifts to other issues.
Numerous other heart-wrenching cases are highlighted in the article, including families with loved ones missing in floods in Texas, Ukrainian soldiers missing in the war with Russia, and the families of an Israeli soldier taken hostage. All share the common burden of waiting and hoping in vain.
The article also offers advice for those wishing to support families with missing loved ones, emphasizing the need for understanding and patience, avoiding clichés or placing burdens on the bereaved. According to experts, acknowledging the state of “ambiguous loss” and allowing them to express their emotions is crucial.
Information compiled from The Associated Press.
